1
The
wind whistling, the sky left naked with no clouds and the sun
gleaming as bright as it possibly could. The shadow of the gigantic
tree casting over two 13 year old children playing on the ground
below.
“It's
here!” said Anissa gleefully.
“Huh?
What is?” Damian responded with a confused face.
“Autumn.
What else silly? Can't you see the cherry blossoms falling all over
the place” said Anissa as she grabbed a handful of the shimmering
pink cherry blossoms and throwing them back into the air.
“Oh,
yeah, that. You're quite fond of cherry blossoms aren't you?” asked
Damian.
“Uhh-hun.
Did you know, 5 centimeters per second is the speed at which cherry
blossoms fall from the trees?” nodded Anissa with a big know-it-all
smile on her face.
“5
centimeters huh...” said Damian with a pause, acknowledging what
Anissa had just said as the cherry blossoms fell on both their heads.
2
Damian
woke up to the abrupt brakes of the train. He looked out of the
window and reminisced at the dream of the 2 year old memory he had of
the first day of autumn that Anissa told him she will be moving to
Oklahoma because her parents found a job there. He remembered how he
curled up in bed that night, eyes wide open as if in disbelief.
Disbelief that he might not see her luscious long black hair and her
gleaming eyes and her innocent smile ever again.
It's
been 2 years since that fateful autumn afternoon. They were both 15
now. They kept in touch by writing, each replying as soon as they
tore open the envelope to reveal the contents inside. They couldn't
get to meet each other because of the cumbersome 3 day train ride.
Despite
all that, Damian was still on his way, in the train. He had just
graduated high school and offered a scholarship in Lancaster, making
it impossible for them to meet up and settle down. He was going to
see Anissa, knowing quite well it might be the last time he sees her.
Despite all that had happened between the two, they never really
confessed their feelings for each other, feelings that they didn't
even realize were there until they were abruptly separated.
“The
train leaving for Oklahoma 1900hrs will be delayed by 15 minutes due
to bad weather, please bear with us” said the sharp and high
pitched station announcer
He
was almost there. Damian rested his back against a window, clearly
exhausted from the ordeal of the tiring train ride. He reached out
for the envelope that he had stored away in his jacket. The envelope
he was finally going to give Anissa; to show her he cared; to show
her that just like the cherry blossoms in spring, he was ready to
mature their relationship. The thought “Will she care and
reciprocate the feelings?” lingered in his mind as he breathed out,
blowing out mist due to the severe cold and snowfall at the train
station and put it back in his jacket as he made his way to his final
train connection to Oklahoma.
It
was just then, that a man of burly stature ran past him knocking him
to the floor before he could even fathom what had just happened. He
felt oddly lighter.
“My
jacket, my jacket!” Damian thought to himself as he panted and
looked around
It
was nowhere to be seen. He looked up and caught a glimpse of his
shiny black leather jacket in the distance, moving further and
further away from his sight into the pathetic excuse of a sunset
horizon which was overshadowed by the snowfall. He got back up and
rushed to his train lest he should miss that too after he got mugged.
He staggered as if drained of all his energy and willpower onto his
23A seat and all he could do was close his eyes and only hope to open
them to the sight of Anissa waiting for him at the train station.
As
the train screeched to a stop, leaving an aroma of burnt metal in the
cold unforgiving air of Oklahoma, Damian limped out of the enormous
piece of metal that had been hurling him from one city to the next
for 3 days straight and left him looking like well dressed zombie.
All
that vanished when he saw her. Even through the thousands of people
in the station, he could still see her, he could still spot her, he
could still sense her. Crimson dress. Long locks of black hair. The
same old backpack with the orange cat on it. It had to be her.
Anissa...
“You
haven't changed a bit” Damian thought to himself as he gazed at her
as if enchanted, enchanted by her skin so fair that the falling snow
might camouflage it.
“DAAAAAMMMIIIIAAAANNNNN!!!”
Before
he could even move, he felt his cheek go numb, as if he was just hit
by an angry monkey whose blue butt was made fun of.
“Huhhhh?
What was that for? You haven't changed one bit you gorilla!” said a
confused Damian still holding his cheek
She
held her head down and innocently said “That's for leaving me alone
and not even bothering to visit before”
Damian
smiled and let out a soft laughter (You know, the kind that when
you're happy, yup, that kind). Knowing it was still the same Anissa
he met. The same Anissa that left 2 years ago.
“Come
on now, we haven't much time left till your train departs at dawn.
It's 8 pm! Lest you want to be slapped again” said Anissa staring
at Damian, eyes glowing red.
“And
besides, I've got something to show you” She grabbed his hand and
tugged him towards her, running through the crowd.
“Hey
hey! Slowly! Sorry there” said Damian to Anissa as he apologized to
the man he just shoulder barged into, thanks to Anissa dragging him
violently through the crowd like a rag-doll. He didn't mind. Not one
bit. Her soft hand in his gave him all the warmth he would ever need
in the 2 feet deep snow their shoes were plow through.
As
she struggled to catch her breath, she muttered enthusiastically,
“There… there it is Damian”
It
was a sight to behold. He looked up and up, and up until he could
look up no more. It was a cherry blossom tree, so huge that it seemed
like it was creating a brown horizon with the starry sky above. The
chocolate brown tree contrasted with the snow falling down. Its
branches all bare due to winter, not a single cherry blossom was in
sight.
“Isn't
it just like the one we used to play under? I know its winter and
there are no cherry blossoms, but I like to hold the falling snow in
my hands and close my eyes and pretend I was catching the same pink,
slightly shriveled cherry blossoms that we used to together” Anissa
said while gazing intensly at Damian with her beady gleaming eyes.
“Damian,
isn't it nic…”
Before
she could finish, she was taken aback by Damian pulling her close and
locking his lips with her. Under the beautiful starry sky in which
the milky way was visible as a haze of colours, the dim lights of the
nearby town shining on them and their footprints all that could be
seen in the freshly laid out snow under the tree.
Damian
had never felt like that before. It was as if he understood
everything, as if he understood what it meant to be alive, what it
meant to love someone. However, his joy was short-lived and suddenly
the feelings of extreme sadness took over. The sudden realization
that he might not see her hit him and he clenched his fists as he
bumped his own forehead against Anissa's gently.
They
spent the night in a poorly lit shed, wrapped up in an old blanket to
protect them from the freezing cold. They talked all night, until it
was time to leave.
Damian
looked distraught as Anissa escorted him to his departing train. He
looked at her, and kept on looking, as if he were creating a
permanent image of her in his mind at the thought of not seeing her
in a long time, or ever at all.
He
took the first steps on board his train, with Anissa still outside.
“Anissa...
There's something I've been meaning to tell you… I… I...”
Before
he could say anymore, the automated doors of the train shutting dead
in-front of his face in between him and Anissa just before he could
tell her how he felt. The engines started and the train started
moving slowly.
“I'll
write to you! I'll call you!” shouted Damian as far as his lungs
could stretch through the glass window of the train
“I
know you will. Don't you forget me” Anissa said with a satisfied
smile on her face
“You
know I can never do that, I promise we'll see the cherry blossoms
falling again together one day!” screamed Damian as he pounded his
fists against the glass window in frustration at his powerlessness to
stop what destiny had already been decided for them as the silhouette
of Anissa faded into the falling snow.
In
the distant, Anissa held something close to her chest tightly and
tears started flowing, melting the snow at her feet. She unclenched
her fists to reveal an envelope. A pink envelope with Anissa's sloppy
handwriting entitled “To Damian”. An envelope that was being
drenched in her tears with every passing second. An envelope that she
couldn't get herself to give to Damian.
3
Fast
forward 6 years…
Damian
is now a programmer at a multinational firm. Working 8am-6pm
everyday. He hasn't forgotten her. Not one bit. He always has the
same dream every night.
*tun
tun tun* He's always on his phone, typing away mercilessly at his
flip phone. His coworkers always teasing him that he's sending emails
to a girl, the girl he always talks about, the girl from his
childhood, the girl called Anissa.
As
Damian types a long text describing his day and the recurring dreams
he has. He rocks back on his dusty brown chair in his cubicle and
lets out a sigh as he thinks to himself,
“I
wonder, since when did I get into the habit of writing to myself?”
and then deletes the text.
He
ponders how his contact with Anissa faded away in these 6 years from
the frequent letters in the mail to nothingness now. It has been 4
years since he last spoke to her. Yet he couldn't let her go...
4
“Okay
mom, I get it, I'll be careful, yes, I'll cook something special for
him, don't you worry, the train is almost there” Anissa consoled
her mother on the phone.
She
hung up and stared out of the window. She had been having the same
dreams as him. Ever since she was going through her junk and found
that pink envelope entitled “Damian”.
The
exact same dream as him. Two children embracing each other in a snowy
field under a withered tree. Holding tightly to each other as if they
never meant to let go, rubbing their warmth on each other as they
hugged. The snow filling their brunette hairs and causing their
cheeks to turn red as if blushing. Just like that time 6 years ago.
Only to be abruptly pulled apart and wake up in the middle of the
night and face the harsh truth that is reality.
She
lifted her head and saw him, waiting for her with flowers in his hand
at the train station as she alighted her train. She jumped and hugged
him tightly.
Her
hand unnaturally glimmered in the blinding sunlight of autumn. It was
a ring. A big emerald ring on her left hand's ring finger. She stared
at it and reminisced when her fiancée gave it to her.
The
only thing was, it wasn't Damian that was waiting for her at the
station...
5
Damian
strolled along the foothpath which was laid down with cherry
blossoms. It was autumn again. He hated autumn now. Autumn was the
season in which he met Anissa. Another autumn would come in which he
would not see her again.
He
saw a leaflet for the NASA space rocket that was going to be launched
into the solar system and beyond.
“How
alone it must be, going alone, into infinity, knowing you might find
nothing but loneliness in the dark empty vacuum of space” he
thought to himself not knowing that the rocket represented his own
life after Anissa. Alone. Dark. Empty.
As
he walked on the empty road of the railway crossing, a woman
approached going in the opposite direction. Crimson dress. Long locks
of black hair. Fair skin.
Damian's
eyes wide open in shock.
“Could
it be her?” he wondered to himself as they crossed paths and ended
up on opposite sides of the train tracks.
He
knew if at that moment he turned and looked back, she would too.
As
he slowly moved his neck to look at the girl that just went past him,
he saw her starting to look back as well, but before he could see her
clearly, the trains rushed passed, blocking his view. As the trains
roared past, Damian waited patiently with his hands in his pocket,
his heart beating as if his sinoatrial node had been electrocuted
with a thousand volts. When the train finally passed, all he saw was
the pink beaming cherry blossoms falling onto the ground.
Damian
sighed. With a smile on his face, he turned back, and kept moving on.
Knowing that Anissa was happy, and that was all that mattered to him.
She had matured and that he needed to do the same. He had to let her
go. Just like the tree in autumn which lets go of its beautiful
cherry blossom flowers so it can bloom again.
And
he continued walking, in the rain of pink flowers, remembering his
promise he made to Anissa to watch the cherry blossoms fall again one
day, and smiled.
THE
END
